Shrill by Lindy West

Hey Everyone,

I know it's been a while...a long while.  And to be honest, I don't know how many will read this, not that I have ever known; but I'm sure it is no where near how many people used to read.  I'll probably write a post soon, about life updates and such.

But I just got back from a life-long dream trip, and had a six hour plane ride.  So what do you do what when you're sitting in the most uncomfortable seat, squished between two people, and can't sleep?  Read!

I recently binge-watched the six episodes that Hulu released of the show Shrill.  I didn't realize it was only six episodes long until after I had finished them, and the seventh episode wouldn't load...boooo!!!!!

I was super hooked!  How empowering to finally have a show released about a plus size girl kicking ass in the world!  Aidy Bryant was awesome in the show!

As someone who has struggled with their weight their entire life, this show immediately caught my attention when the trailer went up!  So when I happened to be in a Amazon Book Store (...yes Amazon has actually opened up real life book stores, where you can touch and feel actual real books! And yes, they totally match their Prime prices!!) I still had Shrill on my mind after over two weeks of having finished it, and picked up a copy.

I got about 3/4 of the way through by the time my flight landed back home, and finished the rest this morning.

From Goodreads:

Coming of age in a culture that demands women be as small, quiet, and compliant as possible--like a porcelain dove that will also have sex with you -- writer and humorist Lindy West quickly discovered that she was anything but.

From a painfully shy childhood in which she tried, unsuccessfully, to hide her big body and even bigger opinions; to her public war with stand-up comedians over rape jokes; to her struggle to convince herself, and then the world, that fat people have value; to her accidental activism and never-ending battle royale with Internet trolls, Lindy narrates her life with a blend of humor and pathos that manages to make a trip to the abortion clinic funny and wring tears out a story about diarrhea.

With inimitable good humor, vulnerability, and boundless charm, Lindy boldly shares how to survive in a world where not all stories are created equal and not all bodies are treated with equal respect, and how to weather hatred, loneliness, harassment, and loss--and walk away laughing.  Shrill provocatively dissects what it means to become self-aware the hard way, to go from wanting to be silent and invisible to earning a living defending the silenced in all caps.

My Thoughts:

Goodness it has been so long since I've written a review!

Shrill is such a different genre than I am used to reading about.  But I am turning 28 in July, and to be honest, Young Adult, hasn't really spoken to me for quite some time.  I still love YA, it will always hold a very special place in my heart.  I will still go to events (in fact, I'll be Ya'll West next month!), and I still get extremely giddy when I see an author whose book I enjoyed!  On Saturday while at the airport, I swear to you, I saw Jennifer E. Smith walk past me in a hurry to catch her flight I'm sure.  This was a very high profile airport in probably the most prominent publishing city, so it shouldn't have surprised me that I'd see at least one person!  But it was still awesome!

Shrill is non-fiction.  It is an autobiography of the author, Lindy West's, life.  If you had told 17 year old me that I would one day enjoy biographies, I would have laughed in your face.  I thought they were all boring and about Ben Franklin...not that Benjamin Franklin is boring, but I had to spend one of my Halloween's reading about him, while everyone in my school went out, and I might still be a little resentful towards Mr. Franklin...

Anyway, Lindy West, who I have found out is a rather prominent name in the journalism field, when it comes to stating her opinion on feminism and advocating for fluffy* women.  In the show, starring Aidy Bryant, the advocating for fluffy women was the main purpose, and the reason why I got hooked right away.  The book, however, focuses on a lot of other things.

Honestly, it was at times a bit all over the place for me.  I am all for woman power.  Really.  Why wouldn't I be, I am a woman after all.  My personal opinion has just always been that feminism should be about fighting for equal rights to men, and not putting down men along the way, because then we are just stooping to the level of how they used to (and unfortunately sometimes still do) treat us; and I am a big believer in the Golden Rule (Treat people the way you want to be treated.)

I am not here to spew my opinions though; I really don't want to start some huge argument on my first post in almost ten months.

Lindy throughout the book talks about her experience with men, in a way that puts the majority of them in bad light.  She talked about the thousands of nasty comments she has gotten from men about her weight, how rape is funny, and that she needs to die.  Not once mentioning any comment from a woman, which by how many she has gotten, and by how I can't even on Facebook without seeing a Torrid ad that has some skinny woman telling a fluffy woman that she "is unhealthy and needs to exercise".  We get it!  We all know that when you're obese exercise and eating well can help.  We hear it all the damn time.  Lindy does address this!  She talks about how many other factors come into play when a person struggles with obesity.  Hormone issues, other illnesses, depression, emotional distress.  She just addresses men when talking about these issues.

At least that was the message it gave me when I read it.

The book wasn't what I expected.  It wasn't bad, or anything!  I read through it fast!  Which hasn't happened in quite some time, so I must have enjoyed it!  The show on Hulu, just focuses a lot of the main characters weight issues with herself and what others think of it, so I did anticipate most of the book being about that; but it had a lot of other discussions brought up.

Another being how stand-up comedian men glorify rape-culture by making jokes about it.  Rape is obviously nothing to laugh about!  And as a huge stand-up comedian fan, I would never ever laugh at any joke glorifying rape.  In fact, I've heard them at live shows myself, and have heard the audience cackle uncomfortably around me.  Lindy brings up the subject and talks about some of her articles written about it, and how it led to internet stardom...but not in the way you would think.  In fact, the internet trolled her, and sided with the misogynistic assholes who had said these tasteless jokes.

Now I did end up having a discussion with my husband on this subject, and he did bring up some valid points.  Freedom of speech exists for a reason, and if a comic is known for such jokes, then don't see him/her, if you don't like the subject he/she discusses.  Every comic has their genre, just stick with the genre you like.  

Lindy talked about how the men brought up the stance of you have to see the humor in everything, including the hard stuff too, because otherwise life is unbearable.  To which, personally, I think certain things shouldn't be discussed, but again, not going to see a comic if I don't like their stuff.  And if I did pay to see them, I won't be watching their future stuff.

We all know trolls exist.  We live in a world of technology, whether cowards can hide behind a screen and think they never have to be held accountable for their actions; and unfortunately the majority of them will never be held accountable.

Lindy has had some shit thrown at her though!  Dang!  People write the most disgusting things on the internet.  I have seen it first hand!  I was told once that I don't deserve to have a child because I believe in more research going into to find out the cause of autism in children...long story.  That shit sticks with you.  It stays in your brain forever, at times.  I know I hold on to stuff...a lot!  I remember things from elementary school that someone said to me, and to quite frankly, I still haven't forgiven them.  I have also not forgiven myself for saying mean things in my life; and it is something I cope with difficultly at times.  I can't imagine someone impersonating my dead father and having them tell me that I am worthless, and an absolute disappointment.  Who does that??!!

My favorite quote from the book, was actually at the very end when Lindy wrote about answering trolls, "There's no "winning" when it comes to dealing with Internet trolls.  Conventional wisdom says, "Don't engage.  It's what they want." Is it?  Are you sure our silence isn't what they want?  Are you sure they care what we do at all?  From where I'm sitting, if I respond, I'm a sucker for taking the bait.  If I don't respond, I'm a punching bag.  I'm the idiot daughter of an embarrassed dead guy.  On the record. Forever." (pg. 244 of Paperback).

Isn't that how it is?  That quote took my internalized feelings whenever I want to answer someone inconsiderate or ignorant on the internet,  and put them into the most perfect words.

I have the utter-most respect for Lindy to writing her thoughts and feeling down on some of the most difficult subjects, because everyone should have the right to talk about how they feel, and to discuss the topics they feel passionate about.  Not everyone is going to agree with everything you have to say, but it doesn't matter.  Or at least it shouldn't!  Which is what Lindy wants.  Speak up, and vocalize what you want to fight for.  I just believe it should be geared towards men and women, because we all have done it at some point or another in our life, and deserve to be called out on our bullshit.


Overall rating:

I enjoyed this book.  Even though I didn't always agree with the approach Lindy took to fighting these topics, I devoured this book in no time.  I have currently four books sitting on my nightstand, all of them I have read from already, but just haven't had the head to finish.  And this one I finished!  In two days none-the-less.  I don't remember the last time I finished a book this fast!  

I hope to write again soon, but until then  I hope everyone has a great week!

The Romance Bookie :)

*I dislike the word fat, it's up there with pus and phlegm,  probably because anytime I get even the smallest piece of fat (gag!) in my mouth when eating a piece of meat, I want to hurl.  So I have come to use the words "Fluffy" and "voluptuous" when describing myself and other plus size women.