The Discussion of "Wanting" to have a Baby

 Hey Everyone!

I wanted to talk about a topic that, I feel, starts coming up as you reach adulthood, more and more.  A topic that is often thrown out there willy-nilly, and people don't really think as they tell you to do this extreme "life-changing event"...

The topic of "Wanting" a Baby.

So as some of you may know, my husband and I just welcomed our son into this crazy world on September 21st, 2020.  

Having a baby during the pandemic was pretty surreal at times.  We found out we were pregnant in January, so before this all started.   Luckily, my husband was able to go to my initial appointments with me (which I am so utterly thankful for, because that first trimester was the most nerve-wracking for us!); but at about the week 14 mark he was no longer allowed to come in with me; even to ultrasounds.  

As you can imagine, that was extremely hard.  

I was very fortunate that this time around, everything was pretty picture perfect during my pregnancy (that is until the last week, which is a topic for another time).  

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...

Did my husband and I "want a baby"?

Abso-freaking-lutely!  

We started "trying" last summer.  

It was something that we had been discussing for a few years.  And we got to a point in our lives last year, where we just knew it was the right time.

Now does everyone get that feeling of "is it the "right" time?"

No.

Something that started coming up when people saw my baby was "Oh I'm thinking of having a baby soon" or "My family keeps bugging me to have a baby". Or the even better one..."Oh my goodness, he is so cute! I want a baby!"

Now, I understand most people are joking...at least I hope so.  But it got me thinking...Why do people pressure others to have kids?   

Now, I know the pressure is definitely on for a couple, most of the time, once they get married.  And especially when they start approaching that "big" 3-0.  

But recently I was picking up dinner, and the cashier, who was maybe 19 years old, said "My cousins have all been having babies, and now they are bugging my boyfriend and me to have one!"

Goodness. 🙄

Let me just say something right now...

Nothing.  And I mean NOTHING, will ever fully prepare you for the super unpredictable role of parenthood.  

nOtHiNg!

My husband and I read books, articles, discussion boards, took the classes, etc.  We bought all the top gear after researching everything.  We stocked up on diapers, wipes, got a Costco Membership for the diapers and wipes, made our baby registry, got my breast pump through our insurance, bought so many onesies.  We thought we had done it all.

Were we fully ready?

No.

Were we as ready as we could be?

Also, no.

Could we have been more prepared?

Absolutely!

For one...I had our baby two weeks early.

He was born at 38 weeks.

Luckily, at 38 weeks, it is considered the beginning of being term in pregnancy.  So it was okay that he came out.  

But as excited as I was to meet him (from day one of finding out!), at about the week 36 mark was when my husband and I realized that our lives were about really change.

No more making our own schedules.  Much, MUCH fewer quiet moments together.  No more, unplanned, spontaneous date nights.  

Everything was about to change.

When our little guy came into this world, we soon found out just how unprepared we were.

For one, after being told for months that we could expect around an 8 lb baby, we ended up having a 6 lbs 13 oz baby.  

So after stocking up on size 1 and up diapers, we had a single 30 pack of Newborn diapers at home.  Mainly because everyone we spoke to, told us, "Oh don't buy newborn diapers, you won't need them long, maybe a day or two."

Well...we ended up needing them for the first six weeks of his life.  

Over 600 of them.

Yes. You read that correctly.

OVER SIX HUNDRED NEWBORN DIAPERS!!! were used!

SIX FREAKING HUNDRED!!!

Then another problem came up...two actually.

1. I didn't buy many newborn clothes.  In fact I had maybe three newborn outfits.  And even those were too big for our little guy.  So I had to send my mom out to Burlington and pick up some new clothes for him, that didn't look like he was wearing a tent. 

and 2. I bought all his clothes during the summer months...so everything was short sleeved.  No freaking joke!  I honestly hadn't thought about it, as I added onesies after onesies into the shopping carts online.  All I thought was, "Oh that is so cute." Add.  "I have to have that one!" Add. "Mickey Ears??" Add. 😒

So my son had an entire summer wardrobe for the fall and winter months. 🙄

Another problem that came up was...I didn't produce enough breast milk for him.  

I had really hoped to breast feed my son, but due to medical issues (both from my health and ones that came up as I delivered him) my body did not end up making anywhere near enough milk to feed him.  

So formula it was.

Fine.  I actually had sample cans of different formulas, that I had received from Enfamil and Similac from signing up with them.  

Great.  We got this. My son can eat.

WRONG!

He started having tummy problems.  So pediatrician visit, after pediatrician visit, and formula change after formula change...and finally now have been able to (possibly) settle on a formula.  

Formula is expensive.  And I mean EXPENSIVE!

Because for one it isn't even just the price of the can...it's how much you go through!

One can of formula would last us three days.  And they were ranging from $30-$56 a can, depending on what we were told to use by the doctor!  

The one we're using luckily, isn't the most expensive one we had to try, but unfortunately we are having to get the expensive version.

Yeah formulas come in different versions, even if it is the same formula. 

There is powder (which is what most people know), instant ready-to-feed, and even concentrate.  

We are currently using the instant-ready-to-feed version. Which comes in two different sizes.  A 32-ounce bottle, which we use at home; and little 2 oz bottles which we use for on the go.  

Instant 2oz On-the-go bottles

So you see all those bottles in that picture?  All 48 of them.

You would think those would last you a while right?

via GIPHY

Oh how wrong you are.

You see that right there 48 bottles?

It's 2.5 days of formula.  And it cost us $59.99 on Amazon.  (At the time of writing this, they actually went up to $73.46.)

That's $1.25 a bottle (based on the $59.99 price). $2.50 a feeding. $30 a day. $899.85 over 30 days.  EIGHT HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE DOLLARS! 

via GIPHY

Now, my husband and I don't feed him the little bottles exclusively.  Those are for on-the-go. He eats two of those in one feeding (he's at 3-4 oz a feeding, and that number will only go up as he gets older).  We feed him from the 32oz, instant bottles.  One of those, currently, lasts us about 20 hours.  Not only does he go through that, but the 32-oz bottles, once opened only have a 48 hours refrigerated life-span, before they need to be thrown away.  Those are $10.49 a bottle at Target.  While slightly more affordable than the on-the-go version, they still run us a pretty penny throughout the month.

I actually just had to point out to my husband how much it actually cost us, because he went "We spend more than that when we go out to eat." And I said, "Once in a while.  Not everyday!" 

This doesn't even take into account the cost of diapers, wipe, and everything you need for a baby to thrive!  

via GIPHY

So back to the story of that 19 year old who was told by her cousins to join their mommy club.  You could tell she was feeling the pressure a bit.  But she was also going through school, and seemed pretty motivated to keep going with that and finish.  So I was honest with her.

"You have time," I told her.  "The next time your cousins tell you to have a baby, tell them, 'My college degree is my baby'."

At 29 years old, I've only just started getting my sh*% together, now.  Do I have it all figured out? No.  But do I have more figured out than I did at 19?  Hell yes!  In fact, I feel better than I did at 25 when I graduated from college finally! 

Now does anyone truly ever have their sh*% together?  Probably not.

That being said, I'm not here to live your life.  This is just a story of something that happened, and I wanted to share it.  My husband are I are absolutely in love with our little guy, and wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the entire world.  He's only been on this planet for a few short weeks, and he is already our world!  

However, I'm so glad we waited.  

My husband and I went to college.  We have careers.  We got to travel a bit, not that you can ever travel too much!  And we knew we were in a point in our lives (me almost 30, and him in his early 30s) that we felt ready to take this momentous step.  

It's a new chapter in our lives.  And we are very much looking forward to every moment.

Just maybe not the throwing up and pooping everywhere part. 😉

The Romance Bookie :)